Reading Book 5, we begin to see Augustine's internal change become more external. This is obvious by 1) his constant roaming that is determined by his intolerance of the students and peers around him, almost as if he outgrows them like a pair of pants and 2) his relentless pursuit of the opinions of various philosophers and religious leaders including Faustus and Ambrose the Bishop of Milan. By the end of it, Augustine basically considers himself a Christian that just isn't baptized yet.
But as we dig deeper into Books 6 and 7, Augustine is almost in danger of talking himself out of the faith. Because of his analytical mind, he lets a lot of material things get in the way of an immediate salvation. First, he worries about his sexual history and how it will fit in the new life of being a Christian. Secondly, he gets into the vicious cycle of trying to "picture" God, from things such as the ocean to a ray of sunlight. All of it just made me want to facepalm. He needed someone to tell him the famous quote, "Don't think too much, or you're going to hurt yourself." When it comes to God, we cannot follow the philosopher rule of "understand before you follow", or we'll always be behind. God can never be understood or figured out or correctly defined in human terms-and that's what Augustine needed to grasp.
His doubtful reluctance reminds me a lot of one of my dogs, Rudy. Over Christmas break, I tried to teach him to leap on the back of a truck bed. He would run to it in eagerness, but stop at the very last minute and slam on breaks. The frustration was always clearly evident on his face. He wanted it so badly, just like Augustine.
I commented on posts by Abigale and Leanne.
Overthinking truly can get in the way of accepting truth. In Book VI or VII, Augustine begins to talk about how non-physical entities can physically take up space and, almost as an afterthought, briefly mentions how one's thoughts can be a perfect example of this!
ReplyDeleteI know that there are days when I am entirely stuck inside my own head. Now, whether I am blissfully daydreaming or nervously overthinking, however, all depends on the day! Regardless, it is incredibly easy to "get played" by your own mind, and I speak from personal experience!
More often than not, it takes more courage to step out in faith than step into thought.
I think many people can relate to Rudy and Augustine. I am always overthinking everything, and often times it holds me back. Sometimes it even holds me back from doing what God wants me to do. It is important to consider this and try to fight against it and rest in God rather than your own mind.
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